milking stool - alex davies

So there we were hands made out of thrown pints and I had this, just this fucking REVELATION where this Islamabad Jew rises out of these ashes, right, there in front of me he's spoiling for a fight, so I says to him fine but you've got to place yourself between these two Poles, they're having a Benjamin about screamed lips kissing paper, and she says fine but fuck me you've got to have some kind of PERSPECTIVE on these events it's only a blogspot or two gathering bits of paper in a white shoebox and I'm like who the fuck are you to JUDGE me? Next thing I know Ackroyd's reciting an involved epic about some sheep climbing a porch at high speed, draped like a neon curtain under Mercury & Venus, and I'm well enjoying it then she takes his book and rips it to shreds and he's like you couldn't pour shit out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel and she's like well if you spoke proper English'tead of writing bollocks in my comments box I could tolerate your indecent proposals and next thing I knows Maximus is in the State of Play and that YouTube video what I just tolerated is screaming about lips kissing paper written on the heel of the Pole in the white shoebox, and Ackroyd's practically BRICKING himself with laughter.